The Christmas Onion: Just the Headlines

Given the season’s overabundance of earnestness and good cheer, I thought a little coffee-fueled levity in order this morning. Here are the headlines which, rather frighteningly, came together in about fifteen minutes.


Sycamore Restaurant Basically Just Going to Cure the Shit Out of Everything in 2012

Craig Cyr Finally Opens Up About Trout Molé Incident

Area Yelp Reviewer: Everything, Everywhere Overpriced, “For WHat U Get.” 

Eric Reuter Down to Just Giving Everyone Dehydrated Apple Slices for Christmas

Light Rail to Rocheport? Les Bourgeois, Abigail’s Make the Case

Richard King: Summer Concert Series Moving onto Broadway, Renamed “EveryfuckingnightFest”

Local Student Reporter Gets School Lunch Story Just About Right, Actually 

Top Ten Wines’ Paul Vernon Recommends Pairing a Nice Bottle of Chateau d’Hell Up with Your Holiday Ham


Author: Scott

I am a married father of two. I graduated from Rock Bridge High School and then Mizzou before spending six years in the Washington, D.C. area. We returned to Columbia, Missouri in 2006.

3 thoughts

  1. Love it! Did you have to say “everyone”, now we’re going to be getting phone calls…

    Does pickling count as curing? I think Mike pickled half the produce we sold him this year…

    My humble addition:
    “GetAbout Columbia advocates ground-breaking “trampway” pedestrian zones along I-70 onramps, starting at Rangeline.”

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