Crawdad in a Can*
1 hand-caught and pissed off crawdad/crawfish/mudbug
2 cans Tecate
1 teaspoon waterlogged margarine
Drink 10 ounces of the first beer. Rinse crawdad in fresh water and shove his angry ass in the can with the remaining beer. Place can on the edge of the campfire near plenty of heat for about ten minutes. Drink second beer while figuring out how you’re going to get the crawdad out of the can when done. When beer has been simmering and the crawdad is red, remove can from fire with wadded up paper towels. Place can on picnic table and let cool for 10 or 15 seconds. Using wadded paper towels and muttered obscenities, crush can in the middle and bend back and forth until can tears. Tear can in half. Marvel at your Bear Grylls-ness. Remove tiny morsel of tail meat, pat in margarine and garlic salt and feed to 6 year old** who has been carrying crawdad around all day in a portable aquarium. Let 3 year old gnaw on the rest. Make a big show of trying to get claw meat. Know that no matter what happens you’ll always still have plenty of WT lurking just below the surface.
* – Yes, this actually happened Saturday.
** – Proud 6 year old pronounced the crawdad “delicious,” by the way.