I will have to be dragged kicking and screaming back to Domenico’s in Osage Beach. Yes, there’s a giant plastic bull in the parking lot. Yes, their specialty is all-you-can-eat prime rib. I’m not saying there weren’t warning signs. But I naively gave it a try. It was awful. Unspeakably bad. And to lend insult to injury, it was expensive.
First, toasted ravioli. Somebody in the kitchen opened a bag of frozen, breaded ravioli and fried them. They were served with canned marinara. Pretty lame, but hey, it’s fried ravioli. As much as I hate the saying, it’s perfect here. It is what it is.
Then, caesar salad. Inoffensive, but a tad heavy on the sauce.
But then, the entrees. I’d ordered the shrimp pasta. It sounded good. It looked okay, I guess. Lots of smallish shrimp, tossed with sauteed tomatoes and mushrooms atop linguine. But then I caught the scent of fish, always a good sign screeching tires and crushing metal are to come. And boy did it.
I tried the linguine first. There was nothing to indicate that they’d done anything with the pasta beyond boiling (too long), draining and tossing it on a plate. There was no sauce, no olive oil, no seasoning whatsoever.
The shrimp, as suspected, were past their prime and – aside from their fishiness – utterly tasteless. The tomatoes and mushrooms were fine, but at $18, this was easily the single most offensive plate of food I’ve ever had set in front of me at a restaurant. Mrs. SMEs, who found her salsbury steak – I mean veal marsala – decent, brainstormed with me. We’re going to give the 5 year-old some pasta, tomatoes, mushrooms and shrimp and say, “make us dinner.” And as I paid the $103 tab (&%*$#@%$) I tried to think of ways our kindergartner would fuck up a dish of pasta more spectacularly than what I’d just experienced. We’ll see. At least he’d toss in some olive oil and salt.
4737 Highway 54
Osage Beach, MO 65065